We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
