Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
