This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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