if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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