Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
