Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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