I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
