They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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