Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
