i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
