I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
