Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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