Plan B is the new Plan A
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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