Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
