haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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