This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
