Yo dont text me then not text me
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
be right there i have to get my cape
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
