I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Randomize