i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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