the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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