We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
