I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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