Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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