remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
