He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
