how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
the day after is always just damage control
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
