This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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