i'm signing you up for texting rehab
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
