ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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