Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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