He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize