So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
