hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
