The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Never underestimate the power of titties
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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