thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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