Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.

(818): View more from California

Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.

(818): View more from California

And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.

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(407): View more from Florida

this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna

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(256): View more from Alabama

You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.

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