Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize