if you like me you must not know who I am
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I got inside last night via doggy door
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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