Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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