I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
