At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
