Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
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