This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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