we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Vodka?
Forever.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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