so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
