He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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