What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize