She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
