The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
