So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
