i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
