I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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