JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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