Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
